


Family Affair

by Daegaer



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Aliens, Cousins, Group Marriage, Humor, M/M, that remarkable book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-23
Updated: 2007-08-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:52:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zaphod has a proposition. Or makes one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Affair

"I love you, baby," Zaphod's left head said, trying to smooch up Ford's neck and around Ford's ear.

"In a sort of platonic cousinly way," his right head added quickly.

"Oh, right. _Cousinly_ ," Ford said, giving the left head's cheek a well-deserved slap. "I absolutely refuse to marry you and those girls. I've seen how long you leave your socks on the floor."

"What girls?" the left head said.

"Oh, _those_ girls," the right head added. "Don't worry, baby, that's all over and done with. I don't think I should get married yet." Zaphod's right and left head exchanged what Ford knew they thought were surreptitious and conspiratorial glances.

"I really do love you, Ix," they chorused, and yelped as Ford hurled the bottle of Old Janx Spirit at them. "Don't kill me, though, ok?"

"I told you what my new name is!" Ford said. He paused. " _Why_ shouldn't I kill you?"

"Because I'm your cousin?"

Ford waited.

"Because I might drop the bottle and you wouldn't get another drink?"

Ford waited.

"Because those girls wouldn't go to bed with me unless they got a binding invite into the family and I forged your name on the contract?" Zaphod said cheerfully.

Ford grabbed the bottle back. Thank Zarquon that travelling research job with MegaDodo had come through at last.


End file.
